Did you ever think a day would come when watching a professional surfer get barreled would be completely and utterly boring. Well it’s here now, in the tub anyway not the ocean. That’s what you get for playing God. You know somethings up when even Gerry Lopez is barrel dodging.



Initially the gaping was reserved for the barrel. Remember that? Remember your initial impression of that barrel and Kelly crouching inside of it the first time? It was unreal. Like a mirage. Two years on, though, when a professional surfer tucks inside Surf Ranch’s tube it elicits dull groans. “Not again…” “Do something cool…” etc.

The barrel, now that it can be conjured on demand, is boring. Its value crashed like lbs bags of weed in Oregon (now selling for a few hundred dollars).



Click to BEACH GRIT for proof the barrel is dead





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