With the lack of growth of social media, brands thinking they can be the judge and the jury and the sales floor, and the demise of any sort of marketing budget we get stuck with action sports websites that are full of the same half-ass advertorial for some repackaged product we don’t need. This wasn’t lost on Boardistan as they went ahead and roasted the entire industry. Part of the reason why we love them.

Sample:

“Today we’re highlighting an amazingly bland new product you don’t need, from a company we don’t like because, well, we got a press release from said company and putting up a press release is far easier than creating original content because all we’re interested in doing is fooling Google Ads into thinking we’re still posting content on this site so our rankings will continue to soar. 

This banal new product is of course made in China and features several prominently placed logos from the company— both on the front, the back, the top, and the sides. In fact, this product features nine logos (if you count the one on the label). By moving this product around in the physical world you are acting as a sign spinner for this private equity funded zombie brand. You’re adding your youth, energy, and all around sexiness to their brand by being associated with it. Only difference is the sign spinner is getting paid $25 a hour and you’re getting nothing, aside from the pride you feel from sporting a logo that says you paid way more than you should have for this Bangladesh made product. Wait, did we say China before… sorry, same difference. 

We’d highlight several of the features that set this product apart from all the other products available to you in this category and encourage you to purchase it, however there’s nothing about this product that makes it standout from a similar product that can be purchased much more economically at one of the big box retailers.” 

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Click to BOARDISTAN for the full roast

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