Ok ok so it is satire. But with all that rhetoric being spewed out there lately we couldn’t say no to that headline. In reality it’s fabulous surfer/surf writer Jamie Brisick having fun with some post-Brexit potential impacts in a literary way. Nice to read something that doesn’t involve the hype of the surf industry every once and awhile.

 

Sample:

You don’t buy a three-bedroom ranch house for $5.5 million only to have your waves stolen by this massive influx of Brits. Last weekend I got dropped in on by an over-friendly guy named Oliver from Cornwall. Just yesterday a whole pack of ’em showed up with rented soft tops from Zuma Jay.

‘Where you from?’ I asked.

‘Shoreditch,’ answered the pinkest of the bunch, cigarette glued to lower lip. ‘Renting a little guest house on high street for the summer. Sure is lovely round here.’

This does not bode well. My neighbours (actors, movie producers, real estate moguls, entertainment lawyers, rock stars, one of whom is in fact British) share my concerns.We’ve started a petition. Officially, it’s titled the ‘Petition for the Regulation of Beach Keyes’. Unofficially, we call it the ‘Let Them Drink Pints and Watch Football, Just Keep ’Em Off Our Waves Mandate’. The plan is to issue beach keys only to US citizens. If that’s too stringent, then make it so you have to have resided in Malibu for at least five years. Point Dume HOA meeting is July 1. Should be a big turnout.

 

 

 

Click to FIVE DIALS to read Jamie Brisick’s ‘Brits on the Water’

 

 

 

 

 

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